I'm scrambling and trying to stay positive, but I miss you so much, dearest Jaspreet. I am afraid of moving forward and leaving you behind. I think about the people I used to hang around, and how I sometimes don't even think about them anymore. I don't want it to be like this with you.
I'm constantly moving forward (there really isn't much of a choice, and admittedly I have been making the most of it), and I'm focusing on my kids, and building up my strength and on meeting people I haven't seen in ages, and listening to their stories.. some of which you really must hear!
Ching and I miss you terribly. Azm too. I'm pretty sure Faisal misses you very much. It's like this great cloud hanging over us.
The other day at morning assembly the P announced that one of the students from the 11 batch passed away two weeks ago. He suffered a cardiac arrest, and he was a boy well loved by everyone (isn't that how everyone is remembered?). The P then read a message from his friends and family, Some of his friends were there, and it was heart-wrenching to see them; I couldn't look.
You could hear gentle sobs among the staff, and I saw through my own teary eyes that some students were shaken and teary.
I thought of you, and this must have been what happened at your school. Some kind of public eulogy weeks after you left.
It's 3am, and I am remembering the coldness of your cheek when I kissed you goodbye. I am seeing you lying in your coffin.
I miss you, I miss you so much.
Ching said she will definitely talk about you at her wedding. She will want to tell everyone about you. You know what? I'm going to Photoshop you into some of my wedding photos ok? The same way I photoshopped Firdaus into our clique photo. Heheh. Ok, I admit, I was tearing up quite badly. But after the photoshop comment it felt so much better.
Love.
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