In one of my earlier posts I mentioned the male-gaze. It is basically the idea in which we see the world through the eyes of men (even if we are women). To put it in much simpler terms: The reason why we do anything, is to appeal to the male view of how we should be. We think of things in terms of how a man might see it.
For example, since when did shaving legs become mandatory for a woman's attractiveness? I want you to think about a woman in a short skirt. And you look down at her legs, and suddenly you see hairy legs. Oh my god, so gross, right?
If you think about it, which part of shaving your legs benefits you? It is neither more hygienic to shave your legs, nor does it have any health benefits (in fact you spend time and money on shaving or waxing or whatever it is).
Same goes for armpits, and even your vagina. Bushy vags are a no-no.. Unless well, he has some kind of fetish. Fetish? C'mon now.
You'd think that we were all meant to be born hairless, and somehow God decided to play a cruel prank on womankind and decided that hey, let me put all this hair on women and see how quickly they can get it off!
If you are anything like me, and you're wondering, what to do next? Should I shave my legs because it'll just be conforming to the standards of what is beautiful? Or should I go au naturel? Well. It's very much up to you, really. Just remember that no one can condemn you for the decisions you make, though I still very much recommend deodorant, hairless or no.
The beauty industry works like this. They play on your insecurities (I do admit, I am very much a victim as much as I try not to be) and somehow I notice it has mostly been targeted at women! No surprise, considering that we are the ones who have to change this, and buy this and that to look more attractive, to lose weight, to have a more toned body, to be more attractive... Yes yes.. But to whom?
Do you see where I am getting at?
Sure, I hear some of you protesting that you do "dress up for yourself", but while this might be true, there are still many others (myself included) who are quite unsure why we dress the way we do or behave the way we do.
Somewhere along the lines, it became a norm for women to appear super-sexual, but at the same time, get this: they are not supposed to be really sexual. Just appear so, to be attractive, but don't actually do anything because if you do, you're a whore!
Let's talk about clubbing attire, for example. While you hardly see guys turning up in speedos or something along those lines, there are the women in micro-mini dresses and pieces of cloth that are marketed as clubbing gear, and they feel wonderful in them, because they are full of confidence in themselves. These are the ones who are "fun-loving" and they are "hot". But are they they ones you'd want to marry, guys? While there may a few "why nots", I can be very certain that most views would be a "no frickin way".
Ok, so maybe I don't know how comfortable those costumes really are, but for the most part, there we are, parading ourselves, making fools of ourselves in our tiny attires. It does nothing to gain respect of any sort, and let alone bring you the happiness that you so crave for.
Let's move on to my next favourite exploitation: Make-up.
Make-up is nasty stuff. It clogs pores, feels nasty on skin, and mascara is a bitch to remove after a long day. Plus it smudges, and it makes my eyelids feel heavy. It is costly and yet, it is so important.
But I would be a hypocrite if I say I am unaffected by the whole beauty industry.
Everyday I still put on my make-up because I don't want to appear unattractive, or at least, less horrific to the rest of the world. Nowadays, it's also not enough to just look beautiful, we have to be beautiful INSIDE and out too.
We are expected to lead somewhat healthy lives and to have toned bodies and perfect boobs and perfect tummies and toned arms. And we are supposed to be all that AND be confident and ambitious and want to thrive and have dreams. To look like living barbie dolls, or at least, as close as we can get to supermodels.
Sheesh.
Unless, of course, you are a supermodel, then this isn't meant for you. I'll do up another post for you. But I digress.
Recently there was a pull-out feature in The New Paper on Sunday, a beauty guide on "how to lose weight and how to look 20 years younger". I was like, WHAT THE ****?!
Very obviously targeted at women, and I can imagine how many women would think that there is a problem with them that they never thought of before. Then, there is my 13 year old sister reading it, commenting that she should try some of the stuff.
How many of us want people who will just accept us for who we are?
But who are we exactly, hiding behind all this armor, disguised as "beauty", and not really revealing who we are because we never want to appear ugly and unattractive. So we choose the safer option: we shave our legs, dye our hair, put on make-up because quite frankly, it is still a men's world, and we'd have to play by their rules if we want to succeed.. right?
I suppose that would apply assuming you want to compete in that world.
But unless we do something about it, nothing will ever change. (I am not suggesting a riot okay! Calm down!)
For the most part, I've stopped reading beauty magazines. I do my hair however I like. Sometimes I go out without make-up. Sometimes I put on make-up. My legs are sometimes fuzzy. I run how much or how little I want to.
To use a cliché- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You do whatever you like, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. As long as you are most comfortable wearing whatever or dressing however then go ahead!
So what if you don't wear heels? So what if you wear false eyelashes everyday? Just make sure it is for YOU and not because it might be how some guy/ the world/ other women might see you, okay?
It's time to stop living in someone else's eyes and re-define what we see beauty and strength as. One person at a time.
Till the next post, have a good day!
P.s. I know this post was very heterosexual female based, and lengthy. Thanks for reading!
